My Christmas buzz is wearing off. There wasn't much of a buzz to begin with in the first place, however. Eh, well. My parents aren't the best gift-givers in the world. But they try, by golly. I was a bit flaky and just got gift cards for my siblings. But no matter. My mom's good with keeping receipts. Some of the gifts I got were really thoughtful, stuff I only mentioned once or twice in passing. But the best gift is gonna take a while to get here. Oh yes, dear friends - a DSLR camera. Woot. My parents are really supportive of me doing photography, so they decided to help out. And drop $600 like it wasn't no thang. Shoo.

and after long last

The Christmas concert was on Monday. It was really nicely done, and everyone sounded pretty good, even though the only "Christmas music" that I like is the jazz from the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. I did downright shitty on the cello during the concert, though. Frustrating. Especially since most (read: all) cellists my age are really good. Oh well. Only thing that can fix that is practice. And lessons.

Well all, I do hope your festivities are delightful. Can't say I really get too excited about them myself. Except for time and a half at work. My family doesn't have any relatives nearby, so it's almost always been just us for such occasions.

The laundry beckons.

and so on

Another song done and over with. Well, more or less. The lyrics and chords are done, it just needs a serious amount of polishing. Up to a total of two songs now. Only one of which I'm not totally ashamed of. Anyways, I was hoping to save up enough money to get a fancypants recording interface for the ol' computer. Then I can record my non-ashamed songs directly onto the computer and thus begin my path to becoming an indie god. Har har. But hopefully majoring in photography will lead to some fun side ventures within the local music scene.

Ehhh. I do believe I will write some song(s). About stuff that doesn't exist. And people that aren't real.

clickity clack

I'm all moved in here at home. And it's pretty damn boring. My job doesn't start until the 15th, so that leaves me with an extensive amount of time to kill. At the moment, I'm frantically trying to get up to speed with all the music that I'm playing in the winter concert for MSOE and the alumni concert at the ol' high school. Basically, I'm faking playing for a decent amount of time. For the alumni concert, I was given the music about two weeks out. Not cool. A couple of the songs are too difficult for me (surprise!), so right now I'm just working on the other ones. Not quite sure how that's going to go down at the actual concert though. Probably awkward.

predictably indifferently bored

Just sitting around in my dorm at the moment. There's no point in going to class. At least, no point that I could come up with. Plus, when you step outside, it's so cold that you just laugh and say, "Man, it is just silly how cold it is!" And then immediately regret that decision because your lungs just froze. Lesson learned.

I hope that I don't piss anyone off by leaving so suddenly. There's still a few people around that I have to say goodbye to. I'm not sure what the point is, considering the only contact I will have with most of them ever again is a random facebook message or two. My relationships are depressing. Although, I'm pretty sure this sort of thing happens to everyone. I would still be friends with them as long as we were within geographically convenient distances. It seems so petty.

my life is ready

Well, I guess this is it. I'm dropping out of school. Not because I can't do it, or that I'm lazy. Life is far too short not to be doing what you love. Even though mechanical engineering would be a good job and all, I just can't very excited about it. I wish it didn't take me $15,000 and over a year to figure that out. Ah, well. Anyways, I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do. Apparently, I have to get a job with good insurance, because if I'm not a full time student, I am no longer on my parent's plan. Which wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't so medicated. Fucking neurosis. Fortunately, I do have a job lined up at good ol' Black & Decker, and apparently they have some sort of rudementary plan for full-time employees. But anyways.

I will be going back to school in the fall, that's for damn sure. But I am not exactly sure what I want to do. It would probably be a toss-up between photography and music, with me leaning more towards photography. The good news is that my parents were smart when they were younger and started saving for college when I was still filling up diapers. So that means about $20,000 a year for college. Hopefully I can get some scholarship money.

Anyways. MSOE just wasn't doing it for me. I didn't really belong. The kids are great there, and I had a few friends, but I never really connected on a deep level. The kind that would keep us talking and whatever if I were to go to another school. The school's great for engineering and nursing, but piss-poor for everything else. There is almost no music program, and the humanities and writing classes are a joke.

My parents are taking this really well. They do want me to be happy. But I don't think they believe in me. Especially with the photography thing. So I don't know. I was going to go to a few professional photographers to have them evaluate my "work", if it can be called that. It's just a few photos taken during one year of a photo class. But I believe in me, for once. I really think I can do this. It'll be a helluva thing to whip together a portfolio in a little more than three months, as well as get a good job, but I can't stop smiling. I can't remember the last time I felt this... content.

oh my darling

Urgh. Running on fumes and Elliott Smith . I recently received rather a rather rigorous coRRespondence fRom the registrar. Half-assed assonance ahoy! Oye...
Anyways, the letter said that I have upgraded my status from academic probation to academic suspension. Shit. So now I need to prostrate myself before the various judges of this sort of thing and write a letter of sorts to them pleading for mercy. If that does in fact succeed, I will have to drop my beloved philosphy class with Professor GB in order to go back on the four class maximum associated with academic probation. He's delightfully "off " and is all about open discussion. A pity. There's always next year.

But now I'm really not sure what I want to do anymore. What else is there? I'd consider photography, but I have no portfolio, and no experience with the exception of one photo class in high school. Although that class was seriously bad-assed, despite the utter lack of funding and working equipment. And its subsequent cancellation the following year. Fucking assholes.
However, the only photos I'm interested in are the ones that require an almost prodigious skill to make money off of. Mmm... crappy sentence. What I mean is that sports photos are boring, and the stuff in Time and National Geographic is almost absurd in its technical execution and subtle beauty. Another option would be music. However, that requires an auditition, so that rules out my cello playing (2 years is simply not enough experience). That leaves my guitar playing. Shaky, at best. But I have a shot if the school is small. How will I make money then? Maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe I'm being realistic. It's hard to tell, isn't it?

Carpentry then?

"Waking you up to close the bar
Street's where you can tell by the sound of the cars
Bartender's singing Clementine
While he's turning around the open side
Dreadful sorry Clementine"

today is not your day

Got my grades back today. I Failed Intro to Computer Programming. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Now I will probably lose my scholarship because of my low GPA and cost my parents around $40,000. Fuck. Fucking Woelfl and his hard-as-fuck class. Urrr. It's my own fault. But I am still furious. I don't know how to really sort this out. And I know for sure I'll have to do it own my own because my dick-of-an-advisor couldn't give less of a shit. Ah, well. I hope I'm not on academic probation, because then I won't be able to take the philosophy class I signed up for. And I have been looking forward to an easy class for quite some time. Tune in next week for more adventures.

i want to be peter parker.

Mmmm... poultry. Actually, I'm not so much a fan of turkey. But it was nice to sit and chat with the family and all that. It was even civil. Well, it's never been like how it is on TV. With all the bickering and dysfunction. Is that how it really is? I would doubt it. But right now I'm in the middle of watching Spiderman 2 with my brothers and sister. And it's downright cozy. So I guess I'm done with this for now.

If you're in the mood for something awesome

So I found this on another person's blog, but I figured it was far too fun not to pass up.

By the way, the only thing I remember about "Punch Out!" was losing.

are you mailing anything perishable, liquid, or hazardous today?

Ducking and covering at the moment. Two of my three siblings (and assorted friends of theirs)are in the full throes of a "sleepover" here. That's cool, I guess. Well, it would be cool if there was something to watch on the telly. But there's been enough audio-visual entertainment for today. Probably a solid three or four hours, not counting the Bond movie I went to out of boredom. It was pretty well done, and surprisingly deep for a Bond movie, but Jesus Christ was it depressing. But I always feel terribly depressed when a movie ends and I walk out to the parking lot from the theatre. Oh well. I'd attempt a half-assed review, but I don't much want to bring the dire reprecussions of ruining a movie's ending down on my head though. The finicky wrath of the gods and all. Anyways.

I sent Stephanie Mack a mango. Swathed in bubble wrap and duct tape. Not cause I like her or anything. Uhh.. no. It's just that uhh... there's this lady at the post office right? And one day she was like... uhh... "Wow, you're into Elliott Smith?" And I'm like "XO, sweetheart!" And uhh.. I mail stuff as an excuse to see her. So... uhh... that's why a mango was sent. For that reason and that reason only.

progressive report

It's finals week here at "Mosy", and I'm getting my ass kicked all over the goddamn place. Normally I would bitch about not being able to hack it here and would be thinking about dropping out. But then I'd remember that I wouldn't know what to do. So then I would just stick it out here, and probably whine about losing my scholarship and failing my parents. That's what I would do. Normally. But I'm self-impowered. I'm motivated. I'm organized. I've got a positive outlook. I've got the end in mind. I'm prepared.


I'm delusional.

the sporting life

Countdown to Decemberists show. T Minus seventeen hours, forty-five mintues. I'm all aquiver with excitement. It will be most awesome. The Scotts and I will be traveling down to Chicago and going to the show with Scott's older sister, then spending the night at her apartment there. Perhaps a sexy rendezvous will be in order? Time will tell. But one can always hope.

Anyways, I finished reading one of the 33 1/3 series of books. The one penned by Colin Meloy, no less. A quick overview: the 33 1/3 book series is all about people in bands writing about their favorite album. Mr. Meloy wrote about The Replacements' Let it Be and his life growing up in Helena, Montana, a town not oft visited by bands, let alone good bands. You, dear reader, should read it. There's also one on Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Which you should also read. But I plan on beating you to the punch.

why do I look forward to the weekends?

Home again, home again. And it's Friday night and I'm doing nothing. Should I be doing something? I am at a loss. Errr...

Floating gently in an endless sea of apathy. The water's lukewarm and calm. The sky is silent and grey. The scene is the same no matter which direction you are facing. Just grey sky giving way to greyer waters. There is no one. There is nothing.

My brain is out to get me. And my mind is too feeble to resist. If someone could come over with a bottle of whiskey and a pair of shot glasses, it would be much appreciated. I'll keep the front door unlocked.

it's almost tomorry

I could make sweet, sweet love to blogger all the time, with only brief stops for sustenance and sleep. Perhaps that's just because blogdrive was such an abusive lover, but the point, as well as my horrible disfigurements brought on by year(s) of umm... blog abuse? remain. Ehh... lame joke.

I've begun carrying a book with me everywhere I may go. In it I write little things that pop into my mind and ideas for songs, novels (ha!) and other such things. I tried this before, but the crappy little notebook from walgreens fell apart on me. So I ponied up and got a $8 faux-leather bound thingy. It even has a faux-silk bookmark! Fauxtastic! Ehh... lamer joke. But that's enough chit-chat for now. I'm warming up some tea and heading outside to brave the cold and make it to the music room with guitar intact.

a summary of the day's events

Errr... homework. If the History Channel wasn't so freaking awesome, it might have had a chance at getting done. No such luck this evening. So, a summation of the day's events:

Went to Outpost Natural Foods. Why do all these natural food stores smell the same? Oh well. I went a'shopping because the cafeteria food is not acceptable. Seriously, this stuff is legendarily bad, even among college caf food. So, I'm cooking my own food now, by god. Apparently, there's a small kitchen in the other dorm. It will be an adventure.

"Making friends" with one of the clerks at Atomic Records. He kind of reminds me of the guitarist from Ammi. Either way, pretty cool. He recommended one of the 33 1/3 series books to me. The one on Neutral Milk Hotel. I sort of bought the one on The Replacements by Colin Meloy, of Decemberists fame. I was gonna read it then send it to Stephanie Mack, along with assorted mango-flavored sweets. I hope she forgives me for being a negligent bastard.

Meet Yuri, the Soviet Pumpkin Who Lives Outside My Room

Sign:
Yuri the Soviet Pumpkin says:

Thank you, comrades, for the use of the glorious flag of Mother Russia. I shall wave it proudly over the bodies of the bourgeois!

Successful move. Huzzah!

So I've made the switch from blogdrive. And what a switch it is. Anyways, here's a link to the old blog. I do believe I'll be staying here for a while. And that my posts will be more interesting.