My Christmas buzz is wearing off. There wasn't much of a buzz to begin with in the first place, however. Eh, well. My parents aren't the best gift-givers in the world. But they try, by golly. I was a bit flaky and just got gift cards for my siblings. But no matter. My mom's good with keeping receipts. Some of the gifts I got were really thoughtful, stuff I only mentioned once or twice in passing. But the best gift is gonna take a while to get here. Oh yes, dear friends - a DSLR camera. Woot. My parents are really supportive of me doing photography, so they decided to help out. And drop $600 like it wasn't no thang. Shoo.

and after long last

The Christmas concert was on Monday. It was really nicely done, and everyone sounded pretty good, even though the only "Christmas music" that I like is the jazz from the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. I did downright shitty on the cello during the concert, though. Frustrating. Especially since most (read: all) cellists my age are really good. Oh well. Only thing that can fix that is practice. And lessons.

Well all, I do hope your festivities are delightful. Can't say I really get too excited about them myself. Except for time and a half at work. My family doesn't have any relatives nearby, so it's almost always been just us for such occasions.

The laundry beckons.

and so on

Another song done and over with. Well, more or less. The lyrics and chords are done, it just needs a serious amount of polishing. Up to a total of two songs now. Only one of which I'm not totally ashamed of. Anyways, I was hoping to save up enough money to get a fancypants recording interface for the ol' computer. Then I can record my non-ashamed songs directly onto the computer and thus begin my path to becoming an indie god. Har har. But hopefully majoring in photography will lead to some fun side ventures within the local music scene.

Ehhh. I do believe I will write some song(s). About stuff that doesn't exist. And people that aren't real.

clickity clack

I'm all moved in here at home. And it's pretty damn boring. My job doesn't start until the 15th, so that leaves me with an extensive amount of time to kill. At the moment, I'm frantically trying to get up to speed with all the music that I'm playing in the winter concert for MSOE and the alumni concert at the ol' high school. Basically, I'm faking playing for a decent amount of time. For the alumni concert, I was given the music about two weeks out. Not cool. A couple of the songs are too difficult for me (surprise!), so right now I'm just working on the other ones. Not quite sure how that's going to go down at the actual concert though. Probably awkward.

predictably indifferently bored

Just sitting around in my dorm at the moment. There's no point in going to class. At least, no point that I could come up with. Plus, when you step outside, it's so cold that you just laugh and say, "Man, it is just silly how cold it is!" And then immediately regret that decision because your lungs just froze. Lesson learned.

I hope that I don't piss anyone off by leaving so suddenly. There's still a few people around that I have to say goodbye to. I'm not sure what the point is, considering the only contact I will have with most of them ever again is a random facebook message or two. My relationships are depressing. Although, I'm pretty sure this sort of thing happens to everyone. I would still be friends with them as long as we were within geographically convenient distances. It seems so petty.

my life is ready

Well, I guess this is it. I'm dropping out of school. Not because I can't do it, or that I'm lazy. Life is far too short not to be doing what you love. Even though mechanical engineering would be a good job and all, I just can't very excited about it. I wish it didn't take me $15,000 and over a year to figure that out. Ah, well. Anyways, I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do. Apparently, I have to get a job with good insurance, because if I'm not a full time student, I am no longer on my parent's plan. Which wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't so medicated. Fucking neurosis. Fortunately, I do have a job lined up at good ol' Black & Decker, and apparently they have some sort of rudementary plan for full-time employees. But anyways.

I will be going back to school in the fall, that's for damn sure. But I am not exactly sure what I want to do. It would probably be a toss-up between photography and music, with me leaning more towards photography. The good news is that my parents were smart when they were younger and started saving for college when I was still filling up diapers. So that means about $20,000 a year for college. Hopefully I can get some scholarship money.

Anyways. MSOE just wasn't doing it for me. I didn't really belong. The kids are great there, and I had a few friends, but I never really connected on a deep level. The kind that would keep us talking and whatever if I were to go to another school. The school's great for engineering and nursing, but piss-poor for everything else. There is almost no music program, and the humanities and writing classes are a joke.

My parents are taking this really well. They do want me to be happy. But I don't think they believe in me. Especially with the photography thing. So I don't know. I was going to go to a few professional photographers to have them evaluate my "work", if it can be called that. It's just a few photos taken during one year of a photo class. But I believe in me, for once. I really think I can do this. It'll be a helluva thing to whip together a portfolio in a little more than three months, as well as get a good job, but I can't stop smiling. I can't remember the last time I felt this... content.