oh no...

The record companies have taken over. God help us all.

lame on purpose

Some days I spend entirely (or nearly) alone by choice. It hurts, but it's a good hurt. Like exercise.

I hate my timidness. When I go home, I am going to ask my brother to punch me in the face as hard as he can (ala Fight Club) to prove to me that I am not made of glass. I hope I get into a fight with a grumpy hobo soon. I hope I get hit by a slow-moving car. I hope some asshole insults one of my friends in front of me. I hope someone tries to push me around. I want to prove to myself that I am not a coward. I want to be self-destructive.

fumes

Running off of 3 hours' sleep right now. I'm not coherent enough to string together a witty sentence or anything, so here's a little gem for you all.

everything gets bigger when there's no one around

Lonely, horny, and bored. And lonely. A really, really bad combination.

take this weight...away

Goddamnit, I miss you with everything I've got. This distance doesn't belong between us and everything's all wrong. I wish I could eat every inch of dirt and asphalt and sky between you and me. There is no one and nothing else. And it hurts so much to say, it hurts so bad. And I know it hurts you too, and I'm so sorry. But how can we pretend it is any other way? When I said I loved you, I said it like I had never said anything before. Like nothing else before really counted. And yet, here we are. Far apart. With no choices. And no way not to hurt.