I haven't written. Some really bad shit had been going on between me and this girl I love. Or used to love. I don't know anymore. But I fucked it all up and now when she needs a friend more than ever, I'm not there. I have failed her, and I'm so sorry.

I've been keeping a journal for more than a week now, roughly as long as this has been going on. Someday I would like her to read it. Pure narcissism, but it's hard for me to speak to her about my feelings. I was just so excited that such a wonderful, beautiful girl told me that she loved me back. Now she says she doesn't and never did. I don't know what happened. Everyone says that this will pass and that I will make some girl so happy someday. The word "liar" is in my head before that sentence is finished. Still, I am grateful for what I had. I only wish that I could see her face-to-face and say how sorry I am for making her feel so uncomfortable and making all the shit going on in her life that much worse.

just a bit

I don't think I'll be talking about much of anything for a while. Here or in real life. Not that it matters. No one is reading this.