She called the other day to say she was sorry. I am just happy to be able to talk to her again. So I guess that means I'm feeling better.
I met a transient girl the other day. Her name was Schroeder. She was visiting a friend here who was a friend of my friend. It's kind of hard to describe her. She was alive like no one else. So I'm a bit taken with her. Not really, though. Although she didn't mean to, I felt really superficial and fake around her. I had never really questioned culture or gone out on my own or anything. And here she was, having been tramping since the summer, hopping trains and going all over the place. I had an intense desire to ask her to take me with her. I'm not trying to romanticize that life or anything. It's hard as hell not knowing where you'll sleep, where or when you'll eat, and so on. I'm not even sure if I could do it. But I don't know. I've had this thing where I get really, really restless and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't sit still, and nothing helps, not even music. Usually I just ignore it, but now I'm wondering where it's really coming from. A desire to really live? To be more than this? Even now I'm out of my head with restlessness. Goddamnit, what is this?
2 comments:
just do it. there has never been anything wrong with an adventure, to my knowledge. if you end up sleeping on a bench for a night or two, hell, it will be a memory never forgotten. i have that same tugging feeling inside of me. but i happen to be stuck in a boring, unchallenging school still, so i cant go anywhere.
YOU can.
I love meeting people who just live in the moment. It always reminds me of what I should be doing.
Thanks for visiting. I'm doing fantastic despite my decision making processes.
It's always nice to see you around.
:)
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