Friday, January 25, 2008

From the road

Greyhound was not too bad this time. Well, it still kind of sucked. 20+ hour bus rides can't be made to be enjoyable. I wrote this on the bus, and it's more or less where I'm at right now. The intensity sort of comes and goes. It's not too bad while I'm with my friends.


Oh my god it hurts. It hurts and hurts and hurts and never ceases. To have someone love me back... could I be so lucky? I actually feel as if I'm laden down with real weights on my shoulders and on my heart - as lame as that sounds. What is this that makes me so deeply unhappy? Is it me? Am I choosing this? It's like I don't know how to breathe anymore.

I'm not even saying anything... these trite words and my stupid, feeble mind! I am tormented by my own ignorance. My every attempt at expression is almost exactly the same as the one before it. I can't live like this. There's so much more I want to say - so much - but the words won't come.

1 comment:

Deirdre said...

Aww. *hugs*