Finally got a goddamned job - my first day is tomorrow. Worrying about money all the time is very draining. Also not being able to buy groceries often - that's no fun either. But apparently I get a discount on beer and food from the store I'll be working at. That's good, I guess... not too big on drinking, but it's nice to be able to afford to do so.
A friend came in from out of town today - I was really excited to see her again. I've been distant with my friends here at school for a while, so it was really refreshing to be genuinely happy to see someone. I don't know... I could leave for another country tomorrow and the list of people I would be sad not to see again would only be three or four people long. Depressing. I've begun to wonder whether I am capable of normal relationships... or if I have any hope of starting a romantic one... it's all so unapologetically hopeless and I'm pretty sure it's my fault somehow.
2 comments:
You'll figure it out.
And while you may not miss people, I'm sure there are quite a few who would miss you.
Life is the kind of game where you make your own rules. However, it's really, really easy to make really really shitty rules. The nice thing about the game is that you're allowed to change the rules as you see fit.
If something is broken, fix it.
If you don't know how, find someone who does, or who has, and learn.
It's how the world works.
That seems to be a rule that you can't change.
Thanks for the comment. I mean it.
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