Listening right now to "Amy in the White Coat" by Bright Eyes. If I had to pick a song to listen to before offing myself, this would probably be it. Most. Depressingly. Beautiful. Song. Ever. That is, until I find a new one. Give it two or three weeks.
Been bumming around flickr again. I am rather frightened. There are so many good photographers out there. It borders on absurd. Right on that edge there. How can I compete? I take shots and think they're pretty good. Nothing fantastic. But I'm still proud of them, kind of like a parent with an ugly kid or something. Then I, in my wanderings, look at other folk's stuff. People that are sixteen, seventeen, have just the most incredible shots, beautiful lighting. And then I go back to my stuff and am ashamed. I want to un-post them, but I don't. It wouldn't accomplish anything. There is nothing to do except keep on taking shots. I'm not sure how I'll get better by doing that. I want to use the good stuff on flickr as inspiration, but it just ends up as discouragement. Like a cripple watching a track meet.
I hate pitying myself like this. I just ran out of things to do.
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